I've come to the conclusion that I pretty much suck at blogging! For the past three days or so I keep reminding myself to write something, even if it's just a little update, but laziness wins the battle. Sigh. Here's my half-assed attempt at a blog entry.

Saturday 1/23
Started bleeding again, this time pretty heavily, so we decided to back up to L&D since they told me to return if it happens again. They tested the blood for amniotic fluid, it came back positive, so for about 3 minutes we thought my water has possibly broken and I was about to go into full on panic mode. The nurse swabbed me pretty quick, though, and thankfully I was negative. So my water didn't break, woo! However, I was contracting every 7-10 minutes and after about 30 minutes I was contracting every 5 minutes, so they thought they were going to have to give me the medicine to stop them / keep me overnight. The doctor from Coastal OB wasn't concerned about them when the nurse called, though, and told her to check me for dilation and send me home. Can I just say getting checked for dilation SUCKS?! Holy shit, I was not expecting that kind of pain. I mean, I was expecting it to hurt since I've heard stories, haha, but that was incredibly uncomfortable. Cervix was completely closed, so that's another woo! I asked them to do an ultrasound to check the placenta because, well, I figured that'd be kind of routine with unexplained bleeding but the nurse told me they don't do ultrasounds in L&D. Never heard of a L&D ward being unable to perform an ultrasound, but alright.

Sometime after Saturday 1/23...

Pack and Play arrived! -


Aaand bought my hospital bag. -


Friday 1/29
Had my 33 week OB appointment. Explained the bleeding and trips to L&D to my doctor and he was pissed that they didn't do an ultrasound to check the placenta. Before doing the ultrasound, he pushed around on my belly to see if she's head down or not (and she still is!). The placenta looked perfect on the ultrasound which was a huge relief, but her head is resting directly against my cervix and he thinks that might be what's causing the bleeding. As long as all of serious issues have been ruled out, I can stop stressing over it. He wanted to see me again in another week and I have another ultrasound scheduled. I'm excited to find out what she's measuring and get more pictures! :D

33 weeks, 0 days belly picture:

So, I started spotting (along with having decreased fetal movement for a few days) and had to spend a couple of hours in L&D last night to make sure everything's okay. I felt kind of silly for going in because it wasn't that much blood... but, still, bleeding is bleeding and it had me freaked out. Baby's fine, though! Thankfully! Ever since I passed 30 weeks I've been so paranoid about potential cord accidents and pre-term labor. I think worrying all the time just comes along with pregnancy.

Other than the trip to the hospital, things have been pretty uneventful. Not much to blog about. My next OB appointment is in a week and that's really all I've got going on. My baby bedding came in the mail and it looks even better than it looked in the stock photo - I wish I had a crib to put it on! I've finally got most of the stuff I need, all I have left to get is the Pack and Play and then all of the small things like diapers, wipes, shampoo, wash, socks, etc. Hopefully next week I'll finally get around to buying the curtains for the closet, a new comforter for my bed, a floor lamp for the room, and a hospital bag. It'll be such a relief when everything is done.

I have successfully made it to my 31 weeks and my 8th month of pregnancy! Woo! And I now get to start going to the doctor every two weeks now which might not sound too exciting but it's all I really have to help February pass a little quicker. The OB office I go to, Coastal OB/GYN, has been pretty awful through the entire pregnancy so far, but the doctor actually took time to speak to me at my most recent appointment which made me feel slightly better about letting these people participate in delivering my baby. I was going to go to Tricare and switch over to Emerald Coast OB because I've heard nothing but good things about them (and Coastal has the worst reviews/rep in town), but I decided there's probably no point in switching now that I'm so late in. Things will be fine if the doctor pays attention to me like he did this past time in all upcoming appointments.

Everything looked good at my appointment except for my weight gain yet again. 9lbs in 2 weeks? Not good. This brings my total weight gain to 32lbs which the doctor said isn't necessarily bad for a total by 31 weeks, but it's not good either. I'm estimating my total to be around 50-60lbs by the time I have the baby. The thought of gaining 50-60 total scares the shit out of me but there isn't too much I can do. I eat when I'm hungry and I enjoy the food I'm eating, so I'm just going to deal with it and hope I can work it off once she's out. Speaking of the baby, I finally ordered her crib bedding (even though my crib probably won't even be here before she's born)!


Daniella bedding by Cocalo.
I was originally going to go with this bedding but I figured the Daniella would match better with brown furniture, and it's over $100 cheaper! Works for me.

And my 31 week belly!

List of things I need by March:

[x] Crib bedding ($180) + mobile ($50)
   `Total around $230

[x] Pack and Play - $120

[/] Onesies, gowns, socks, and mittens in newborn size

[x] Boppy pillow cover - $10

[/] Bottles + bottle accessories (brush, extra nipples, sterilizer, dish rack)

[x] Pacifiers

[/] Baby tub ($20) + accessories (shampoo, wash, hooded towels)

[x] Baby monitor - $25-40

[ ] Diapers, wipes, rash cream

[x] 3 or 4 fitted crib sheets

[/] Hangers + some kind of shelf or organizer

A movie quote to sum up the way I've been feeling:

Iris: I'm about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it. Jasper. Wait, I need the lights on. Jasper, you have never treated me right. Ever.

Jasper: Oh, babe.

Iris: Shush. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - this twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living and you're not going to be in it.

I would just like to know how I am still sick. I've gone through nearly three - yes, three - boxes of tissues and my nose is still kicking my ass! I thought my body would run out of mucous by now, but I guess not.

I went and had my glucose test done on Monday and it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but it still sucked. I expected the drink to taste 100x worse than what it did from all the stories I've heard. It was gross but it wasn't unbearable, I think I drank it in less than 5 minutes. I started getting a little dizzy after about 45 minutes but that was probably because I was hungry as hell and the baby was on some kind of crazy sugar high. I got really sick after I got home and ate, I felt like I was going to pass out and/or throw up everywhere, so I went to sleep for about 5-6 hours and felt a little better when I woke up. Glad I got that over with, now I just want to know if I passed or not. I'm assuming I did otherwise they'd probably call to let me know I failed.


My belly picture for this week! I still feel kind of small but I think I'll be "popping out" any day now. I'm starting to get my first stretchmarks above and under my belly button and I do not like them at alllll. I'm so worried about having a saggy post-baby belly. Yeah, yeah, I know everybody says "childbirth/motherhood is beautiful and so are stretchmarks" - bullshit. Stretchmarks are ugly and I want to be able to wear a bikini without people thinking I had surgery to swap out my stomach for an 80-year-old's ass.

I should probably write something about my personal life and how I'm feeling when it comes to certain people, but I think I'm stuck in some sort of denial phase right now. I don't want to admit that I care about somebody (This somebody is NOT Jessie, by the way, I will never be dumb enough to make that mistake again) because I'm not okay with the idea of getting hurt. I'm also not okay with the idea of caring for somebody who does not feel the same way about me. So, instead of venting about how I feel on this subject via blog, I've been turning my free time into drawing time and tacking pictures all over my wall. Maybe one day I'll feel comfortable enough to write about it on here, I think I'm just worried people will read my stuff and know when something is about them.

Oh! I finally got around to watching The Lovely Bones online. I didn't really know if I wanted to watch it or not since it's one of my all time favorite books and movies usually suck in comparison, but it wasn't too bad. Obviously the book was loads better but I thought the movie did pretty good. Made me cry like a baby which is exactly what the book did, so mission accomplished, Peter Jackson and Alice Sebold! It's not going to be one of my favorite movies but it's definitely worth watching, so I think you should all go see it.

"These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections – sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at a great cost, but often magnificent – that happened after I was gone."

"I'm 29 weeks old, only 77 days to go!"

Holy shit! In about 28 days I'll actually be able to say I'll be having a baby "next month". Do you know how crazy that sounds to me?! I feel like this whole pregnancy thing hasn't really hit me yet and that's probably because it's been a fairly easy pregnancy as far as the actual pregnancy goes. I can't believe I'm going to be a mom.

I'm still dying of the flu but I have to force myself to go do my glucose screen (diabetes test) tomorrow, which means I'll have to fast tonight. Not looking forward to this at all and I am keeping my fingers crossed that I'll pass. I have way too much on my plate right now, I don't know how I'll react if I have to add on diabetes. Sigh.