I'll never understand how people can be so shitty to those who care about them. I know I sound like a whiny little brat every time I vent about something on here... But I really don't have anyone to talk to and I need to get things off my chest. Honestly, this shouldn't even bother me because the people who are getting to me are nowhere near worth my time, but I guess they matter when they're as good as it gets in a town like this.

I'm not perfect by any means but I make damn sure that I treat people the way I want to be treated in return. NOBODY likes to be talked bad about being their back, nobody likes to be lied to, ignored, and pretty much shown that nobody wants anything to do with them. I am constantly confused with how I have nothing solid in my life because I know I deserve better. I am a good friend. I'm funny, I might not be the most entertaining person to hang out with because I don't drink and/or do any drugs - but I'm not a total bore, either, I'm a good listener, I give decent advice, I don't (usually) get jealous, and I give my all to people when I care about them.

I am at the point where I can honestly say I have no friends. I have people who tell me they miss me and that we should hang out soon, but if I died today hardly anybody would care enough to go to my funeral. Do you know how that feels? There is a lot I could elaborate on but... I just don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here, I don't know how to meet new people and find friends who are actually worth my time.

I am so ready to move. October needs to hurry up.